wabi-sabi

I have always been a bit outside the norm. I am drawn to things that might repel the central collective. Take scars, for instance. I rather like them. They are vestiges of life’s adventures. They are part of the story.  

Prior to surgery I didn’t wonder too much about how I would feel over the physical changes I would undergo. I didn’t think it would be a big deal to me. But somewhere along the way I started to ask myself to be sure. Something planted a seed of doubt, a sprinkling of apprehension, a smattering of worry.

When all was said and done, I removed the bandages and looked in the mirror. I found out I am still myself. I saw my latest scar and found it rather ordinary. There were the same tiny moles I have looked at my entire life. And, now a scar is added to them to mark this chapter of my story. 

As I looked at myself, I realized I have a wabi-sabi breast and it is just what it is supposed to be. Are you familiar with the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi? I have long believed in this philosophy but I didn’t know it had a name.

Over at Wikepedia, Richard R. Powell summarizes wabi-sabi by saying "It nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities:

nothing lasts,

nothing is finished,

and nothing is perfect."

“Wabi connotes rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness, and can be applied to both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It can also refer to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object.

Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.”

Leonard Koren says that “wabi-sabi is to pare down to the essence without removing the poetry.”

This philosophy also reminded me of a book I read in undergraduate school that was filled with Zen principles. It was called, of all things, The Inner Game of Tennis. The book had a huge affect on me by teaching me to just let things be as they are instead of constantly needing to assign judgment. It is still helpful to me even today. When I am creating it helps me still the inner critic's voice that wants to say the piece is bad or good. It helps me to follow my bliss by playing instead of working to impress.

This is one of my favorite quotes from The Inner Game of Tennis which I have adhered to all these years, "When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as 'rootless' or 'stemless.' We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required by a seed. When it first shoots out of the earth, we don't condemn it as 'immature' and 'underdeveloped'; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care that it needs at each stage of its growth. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time that it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each stage, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is."

Today I am the rose. I am perfectly all right just as I am, wabi sabi scars and all. And, I have so many of you to thank for your help in my current journey. Thank you all for your prayers and wonderful words of support and love. I am repeatedly surprised at the blessings I have received through the daily outpourings of love and encouragement. God bless you, everyone!

Comments

[Bethany]

You continue to surprise and amaze me, my darling sister. It has been a wonderful week with you and I will be leaving a large part of me behind next week to hover over adding extra strength as you need it in the recovery time ahead. May God Continue to Bless Both of Us as We Continue Our Journeys Ahead. Remember not to do to much and I'm always with you if you need me or not. I love you so much my sister and you are truly an inspiration. You're not going to be fine, YOU ARE FINE. You've changed and it's a good change, and now if I find myself starting to slip in a funk, I think of what you have been going through and realize my problem, well, it's a piece of cake. We've always been fire walkers and were forced early on to be risk takers, so keep pushing the limit in everything you do. Somehow I became cautious and you became daring, maybe being older I worried so much over you and every little detail and you, you just floated escaping in your own little world. It's a joy watching you buzz around. I'll miss you but we'll truly always be together 'cause that's what these sisters do.
Forever Loving You, Bethany

[Joan]

I am new to your journey, having just found your blog the day before you went to surgery. But I want to tell you that your words and thoughts have enriched my life and I am learning so much from you. I wish you nothing but the best in this phase of your life. You are a special person, and I appreciate all you have shared. Take care. Take good care.

[ruth rae]

you better have done this ALL with your left hand!
your post is so moving!
thanks for the words to live by!
nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

but What Dear Kelly is the universe trying to tell us!?
Happy days will be ours again soon! :)

Be well!

[theresa]

Thanks for this post Kelly.
I'm learning from you...thanks for sharing your journey.
love ya!
T

[Kristen R]

Kelly this is truly lovely, your words are more than touching and true! My prayers are with you.

XO
Kristen

[liz smith]

i hope you took LONG braeks while you were typing this--or used your left hand!! beautiful words sweet girl--you are a special spirit!
lotsa love
liz xx

[Barbara Burkard]

PURE WISDOM... written with eloquence.

[Maija]

You are so beautiful and wise, Kelly, that you bring tears to my eyes.

[kari]

I too embrace wrinkles, scars, shape changes, pigment changes etc. as wonderful, beautiful things. Wabi-sabi definitely is it!

I have been thinking of you every day and am glad you got through this part of your journey.

God bless
Kari x

[Julie]

Well, I always thought Wabi Sabi was a kind of sushi.

Yeah, I'm not too bright.

But thank you for explaining the philosophy so eloquently because it's something I would like to apply to my own life.

Thank you for being my guru once again.

You are awesome.

[Joanna]

oh Kelly, wish I could write like you. You wrote my heart. These scars of ours are beautiful. It's funny, because when I look in the mirrow, I don't see ugly, I see beauty defined as: courage, determination, a desire to live, strong willed, and total surrender. Like Jesus, are scars mark suffering, not like his, but identifying in a sense, that we too resurrect to a new life of understanding. The experience creates depth and in that alone creates knowledge and compassion for those sisters ahead of us who will also be challenged. Life is full of many classrooms and to be the best student, we must be willing to learn. I love your spirit that takes it all in.

Remember, a fruit tree bears fruit for others to pick.
xoox
joanna

[Miz Carla]

Holding you near and dear in my thoughts luvvie--I'm SO very proud of you!!!

xoxs

[Linda Kunsman]

Thank you Kelly for your beautiful words and wisdom. Ok, I love to cook/bake and I thought the words you mentioned were those really hot beans/peas!!! Obviously, I don't cook hot or spicy foods-still can't think what they're really called-oh well. I've seen your recent left handed art and let me say that I can't art like that with my good hand so you my dear are doing extremely well!!! Keep it up!!! :)Linda

[readytopretend]

I am always amazed at how much we as women go through so many changes. They mark our being and if we are accepting we wear these stripes as proudly as any medal. We are velveteen rabbits and show our adventures, love , pain, and triumphs on our outsides and not just our hearts.
Our brothers in mankind never see this in themselves.
Thank you for sharing. You are using all that you are and wasting nothing. I appreciate the time here with your musings.
A hug from Canada .....Janet

[Michel]

I have never heard of the concept of wabi-sabi but it is a comforting one. Thank you for sharing it and for the beautiful evocative photos.
Sunshine and strength to you.

[Linda]

What a wonderful concept!! I love to read your wonderful musings they are so enlightening and soothing as well!! and I am happy to hear that you are improving and sorry I didn't send my well wishes sooner!!! I am hoping that the journey ahead is a speedy and easy one!!! sending you big hugs and prayers for you to be strong and well!! love and hugs Linda

[Deryn Mentock]

You certainly are MORE than perfectly all right! Have a blessed day, my friend!

[Renate]

I love the philosophie of Wabi Sabi. And I think you are absolutely awesome. May I give you another hug?

[~*~ Patty Szymkowicz]

what a brilliant teacher you are Kelly, many thanks!
oxo

[Sharon]

Thank you for teaching me about wabi sabi, something I need to practice in my own life. I did not know about your surgery until today, I pray for healing in all areas of your life.
You have given me so much to think about...thank you for being perfectly you.

[Nancy Jamar]

Petal by petal, my friend, I watch you unfold...I can't tell you how much your musings mean to me. N

[Suzie jay sroka]

Hello! I read your post with interest, understanding and common ground. I too share the same scars I think. At first I struggled with my scars, as I couldn't let go of my grasping to what I thought I was happy and comfortable with. But I too have come to accept the scars on my body as a journey, a wonderful celebration of my soul and spirit becoming more than just physical, but all there is. My body is not me, just a vehicle to take me through life, and it is adorned with war wounds! It has a new art which it did not have before. And I have become a richer person because of my cancer. thank you for explaining so well what I feel!

[connie]

beautiful then, beautiful now! BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL...inside and out.

[Monica Magness]

thank you for reminding us that beauty isn't always what we may think.. it sometimes is a shell cracked open.. with a gemstone hidden beneath the crust!

[Ginny Gaskill]

Thank you for introducing me to wabi-sabi. Your story was inspirational and personal for all of us.

[Seth]

Such a moving, inspiring, and thought provoking post. One of my favorite kinds -- those that tell a story with both text and images. I have always loved the concept of Wabi-Sabi. Thanks for highlighting it. And thanks for joining in!!

[Deb Taylor]

what a beautiful post, and oh those photos! gorgeous! and oh that dragonfly...oh.

[Stephanie]

this speaks to me;
nothing lasts,
nothing is finished,
and nothing is perfect

beautiful post

[3rdEyeMuse]

I think Seth did many of us a great service by hosting this event ... your post moved me & the pictures are such a beautiful illustration of your words. I am happy to know that I am able to read this ... two years later.

ps - I've always had a thing for scars, too.

[Karin]

Hi Kelly, am a new visitor to your blog, having found you through Lynne Hoppe. Wabi Sabi seems to be popping up for me on a daily basis over the past week or so - you know how once something comes into consciousness it really comes into consciousness?! Like you, it's essences has been something that's always been a part of me, but it's name was new when I stumbled upon it via a beautiful children's book that you might enjoy - Wabi Sabi, It's quite beautifully done and explains the concept via a sweet kitty carrying the name.
A beautiful and moving post - wellness to you, Karin