Soul Humming

FIVE year milestone

 

five flowers

lots of my friends know about my obsession with the number five. it's my favorite number and shows up in lots of ways throughout my art and life. but now i am loving it even more. five years ago, on my birthday, february 24th, i had a mastectomy. i didn't want to have the surgery, obviously, and especially not on my birthday. but when i was scheduling the appointment that was the first date available. and, at the time it was better to HAVE a birthday to celebrate for the next several years than to fret over that particular one. $%#* cancer.

the general angle

and each year on my birthday i remember that day. i remember that surgery. i remember the room i was in. the cold colors of the walls. the metal trolley holding my i.v. bag and its tube into my body. i remember wheeling it into the bathroom in the dark while loopy and talking to mija on the phone. that was one of the few moments when i didn't feel completely out of my body. i remember the doctors being unable to find a pain med that would work. nothing seemed to help and they kept calling late into the night to get him on the phone to try something else. i remember wishing i were anywhere but in that cold room.

i remember my amazing friends and family visiting me in the hospital. i remember them lined up at the foot of my bed like sweet surprises in a row. lisa brought me a birthday crown. i wear it around the house still. that was lovely to see them all through my post surgery haze.

forgotten

but, let me tell you, having a mastectomy on your birthday sucks. don't do it if you can help it. pick a different day. you will remember it when you would rather move on and forget it. and yet, you can never forget it. no amount of life is going to take the scars away,inside or out. SO - get your mammograms. don't put it off. do self-checks every month. be smart, people! ok, climbing off my pink beribboned soap box now.

escape

and, luckily, this year, tomorrow, on my birthday, i get to celebrate with enormous JOY being five years cancer free. that is huge to me. five years out is the first time the oncologist will consider me cancer free. so it is quite a succulent milestone. i've been waiting to exhale a little since that day i thwacked myself in the boob with a mop and found a lump. five years out from surgery feels like a wonderful, amazing, happy, magnificent relief. life is made up of so many moments all strung together like sparkling gems. tiny and shining. this one moment sums up so much happiness hanging off of worry, love, bravery, sadness, expectation, adjustment, fear, and on and on. right now five equals rocket to the moon happy. so...

take time to live your life in this moment. the little stuff truly isn't worth worrying about, well, not much is worth worrying about. don't be so serious. love big. laugh loud. and dance every chance you get. that's what i'm doing. mwah!

Dancing with magic

This week in my book club we were talking about magic in every day life. How many of us spend time in the land of the Fae? It was quickly regarded by my friends that I might daily be visiting that magical land.

And it is true. I believe in the magic of every day things. I see life with dreamy eyes.

Today when walking, I came across these vines which reminded me of the hand of the Earth reaching out from the land to touch the air. Or the hand of God, reaching up to us. Of course it is a vine. But it is also the hand of God, reminding me that He is in everything, He is everywhere, He is in me. And it is the magical hand of Earth telling me to be mindful of how I treat this place where I've been given to live. And to teach my children to do the same.

When I see the vines stretching and crossing over one another I think of how we as people collide and combine and work together to live this life. Sometimes we are the support, strong but supple, holding up the others. Other days we are attacked by outside forces and need a stronger aid to lift us up.

Magic is everywhere and serves us well as we walk along. Some might say this is stopping to smell the flowers. I think it is stopping to take the hand of God wherever we might find it. And then dancing together inside.

 

In My Heart of Hearts

Give me that man
That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
As I do thee.

Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 71-74

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Please enjoy all the gorgeous Valentines I received from my lovely friends in our Valentine Banner Exchange. I hope your day is full of love!

from Theresa Martin and Tanya Peacock

Thank you, friends! I love you so!

More Love

I made a few more hearts to fill out my Valentine banner...

Old book pages burned and sewn to cardstock with ghost paper hearts down the front.

Chipboard letters above a drawing of hands holding.

A couple years back I was in a Valentine exchange where I painted faces onto heart-shaped puzzles. I made laser copies of them before I sent them off. So these are some of the copies glued to cardstock for a rebirth on my banner.

I also made several of these long strands of hearts using a big heart-shaped paper punch. It was nice to have a different shape to break up the banner. These are longer than the other hearts and as these are strung like beads they have a lot of movement. They're super easy. Just punch your hearts, use a glue stick to attach two so you have a front and back side. Punch holes in the top and bottom of each heart then string them onto rope or ribbon and hang. My kid's love paper punches. If you are looking for a Valentine craft for your little ones, this could do it.

This was some paper I had previously painted. It was super thick and painted on both sides already so I just cut it out into the heart shape. The large white shape was painted on there by using a fabric flower as a stencil of sorts. Sometimes I would put the flower onto the paper and then paint over it, leaving the negative space of the flower below. And then, as in this particular heart, I used the flower after it was painted as a stamp by pressing it onto the paper. It's a fun and kind of abstract way to get flower shapes into your artwork.

I've had these little letter tiles for YEARS. I was so happy to finally find a place for them.

This was another thick piece of paper that I painted some time ago. I popped it into my sewing machine and practically disintegrated it. After that I colored the stitches with caran d'ache because I felt like it. :)

It's kind of crazy but I like it. Love is like that, too, no?

Come on people, make some heart art and tell me about it!

 

Valentine's Day Exchange

I gathered a few friends together to exchange Valentine hearts so we could each make a banner with a dozen hearts. I just finished mine today (that's them up there) and have put them all out in the mail. That is always so hard for me. I want to hold onto them and hang them up right here. I would be better about it if I made them earlier and could enjoy them a little longer. But, as I was sick for a few days, I was up at the last minute painting like a mad woman. As soon as they were dry they went right into their envelope. Oh I will miss them. I'll highlight them over a couple days and then I'll show you the ones I get back from my friends. Which is wonderful! I love it when the mailbox overflows with envelopes full of painted and sewn treasures! It makes it all better again.

This was one of the first few that I made. It is of a broken heart that is healing.

And it has all manner of secrets and thoughts written all over it.

I think I posted this one another day. Not sure if I posted it here or somewhere else. It is titled Love is Never Lost. The morning I painted this a girl I went to school with when I was younger passed away. I was feeling pretty low and thinking of all the people who loved her and how sad they all must be feeling. And I kept thinking that the love we feel for someone never leaves even though the physical form of the person may pass on. Their love lives on with us long after they have moved on.

This one is titled Love is Home. It is hard to see the details in the photo. I used a chalky blue gel pen to write around the little collaged house.

The roof of the house was made from a check written on February 3rd, 1920 in Montana. The little birds are from a label from some old matches. This heart has lots of layers of paint, ink and pens.

This one is more abstract with a little home closing it up at the bottom.

Little Love

Love is Strong

All right, I have to run off and help a little boy study for his social studies test . 'Hope you enjoyed the hearts!

 

Love is Never Lost

Working on Valentines for a banner exchange this morning (using a paintbrush so tiny I think it only has three hairs).

New

There is a new year on my calendar. I feel slightly like I can believe it. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes Christmas comes and goes and people say they never "got in the spirit" of the holiday. The new year is like that for me (and birthdays). The page for December is torn from the calendar and the whole thing is recycled. I go to bed with champagne in my head and wake up feeling like...like what? Like it is just another day? Like the world was reborn overnight? How does it feel?

I don't make resolutions on the first of the year. I make them every day all year long. Sometimes, inside my head, they sound like this, "I won't yell at that woman for cutting me off. I won't yell at that woman. Ok, ok. I yelled at her. She was an idiot. Ugh. Now I feel bad. I will try to be nicer. I will try to be more patient. I will learn to Relax."

Do you get that? When my son is down on himself he can be so brutal. It makes me hurt for him to see him being so hard on himself.

I remind him that we all fall short of our expectations at times.

No one is perfect.

And we shouldn't seek perfection either. It's unrealistic. But we should seek a better direction. We have to strive to be more (fill in the blank). And that is something I try to do every day because some days I move forward and other days I fall so short I can't even remember what square one looked like.

So here I am moving forward and reaching out to say hello to you. I miss my blog friends. I've been drifting for a while. I keep trying to put my feet back on solid ground underneath my pink bubble. I think I am closer. I feel like today is new.

 

The Seventh Day of Christmas - Sally Turlington

 

 

Is this right? The seventh day? Not only are we opening on different days than the tags say but I got waylaid and mixed up and am sort of flying along guessing as I go. LOL! A girl should have such problems as which gift to open on what day, right?

This little boxlet comes to me from the supercalifragilistic Sally Turlington.

I love Sally's edgy, colorful style. She always makes the most cool stuff, and by stuff I mean art.

 

Ooooh! This is very cool. I wish you could see it in person. It is a fairly large, double sided, brass snowflake...

But it is so much more!

Sally covered it in paper clay, painted it, collaged it,

and elevated it in true Turlington style! I love it, Sally! Thank you!

Be sure to head over to Sally's blog to see her step-by-step process on making these big, beautiful snowflakes.

The Fourth Day of Christmas - Pilar Pollock

 

 

Hello friends! I fell off the face of the universe for a few days. I'm sorry to leave you hanging mid-exchange! Talk about rude! Life ran away with me as is prone to happen during this busy time. But I'm back in full ornament swing again with this gorgeous package from my fantabulous friend, Pilar.

 

Pip and I both love a grungy style. And her package is representing! She has stitched it up and given it a colorful hide of my favorite lucky number 5 (have you noticed we had to switch the opening days and everyone's numbers are off. LOL! Some mornings I have no idea if I am opening the right gift. :) We should all have such problems!

And look inside...



She has printed out one of her gorgeous drawings onto fabric

And then stitched her over and given her a pretty skirt of rhinestones and silk sari remnants.

I love her, Pip! She is going to hanging around with me long after the holiday goodies are packed away.

The Third Day of Christmas - Joanna Pierotti

 

 

 

Today I was yet again a lucky girl. I have this teeny little treasure before me from my loving breast friend, Joanna Pierotti. She is so clever! I love how she put her ornament in this tiny old envelope.

When I first met Joanna she was going through treatment for breast cancer. 

And within a few months, I had found out that I also had breast cancer. We were already art friends and soon we were breast friends, as she called us.

She helped me in so many ways by walking that road a few steps ahead of me but always being right beside me.

Not only is she a super talented artist but she is a beautiful Christian girl with a heart as big as the moon.

And look at this beautiful soldered ornament she has made for me!

Joanna makes gorgeous dolls so it is only fitting that she put an image of a little doll with a K for Kelly under this faceted glass for me to hang on my tree.

And it is all finished up with this sweet bundle of antique lace and ribbon. Perfect! I love it so, Joanna, and I love you! Thank you, friend!