New

There is a new year on my calendar. I feel slightly like I can believe it. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes Christmas comes and goes and people say they never "got in the spirit" of the holiday. The new year is like that for me (and birthdays). The page for December is torn from the calendar and the whole thing is recycled. I go to bed with champagne in my head and wake up feeling like...like what? Like it is just another day? Like the world was reborn overnight? How does it feel?

I don't make resolutions on the first of the year. I make them every day all year long. Sometimes, inside my head, they sound like this, "I won't yell at that woman for cutting me off. I won't yell at that woman. Ok, ok. I yelled at her. She was an idiot. Ugh. Now I feel bad. I will try to be nicer. I will try to be more patient. I will learn to Relax."

Do you get that? When my son is down on himself he can be so brutal. It makes me hurt for him to see him being so hard on himself.

I remind him that we all fall short of our expectations at times.

No one is perfect.

And we shouldn't seek perfection either. It's unrealistic. But we should seek a better direction. We have to strive to be more (fill in the blank). And that is something I try to do every day because some days I move forward and other days I fall so short I can't even remember what square one looked like.

So here I am moving forward and reaching out to say hello to you. I miss my blog friends. I've been drifting for a while. I keep trying to put my feet back on solid ground underneath my pink bubble. I think I am closer. I feel like today is new.

 

Comments

[Bethany Geurin]

Oh Kelly, I know exactly what you mean. I absolutely refuse to make New Year's resolutions. I am at the point in my life that I am a student a true student of the Bible, trying to go to the Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic root words to get the true meaning. As I do this it results in my trying to do better. Will I ever be perfect, never, it's an impossible goal. I can be more tolerant and well the traffic out there will make anyone yell at idiots but I drive like an old woman so I'm probably the one getting yelled out. So much to tell you sister, such funny little stories. Make time to talk to me this year a little bit and I'll try to talk less. I love you.