a new year is coming. but is it a new year or just another day? i like the idea of a whole new year all clean and fresh, laid out before me like a starched white shirt. it smells of possibility. anything can happen.
but, honestly, i feel that way every day. every day is new. and because of that, i never make resolutions for the new year. i'm pretty tough on myself. when i speak my mind (which i do a lot but still less than i used to) i sometimes will berate myself. and when i don't speak my mind, i will also berate myself. i am very critical of myself and constantly think of ways to be a better human being. without a doubt i am an enormous work in progress. it is not about perfection but direction. i'm always working on being a better mother, wife, friend, human being. january first doesn't change that for me.
still, having said all that, there is that fresh white shirt, all starched and clean, laid out on the bed of life. what kind of shirt will it be? will it have pockets? french cuffs? will it have a tiny pink and red flower embroidered inside the neck just for me to see? is my metaphor losing you?
i'm wondering about what the year will hold. the surprises that will come. the special moments. the unexpected aha breathtaking moments that will long be remembered when 2009 is just a shred of a dust rag instead of that lovely shirt.
it is possible to dream but it is far better, in my opinion, to work for the dreams by laying the foundation to make them all happen. you will surely learn the value of your dreams if you work diligently to achieve them. and i know that to be a better painter (one of my dreams) i have to paint a LOT more. which means i have to do something else much less. i have to work at being a better painter by painting, not by reading a magazine about painting or by going to the museum or talking to friends. i have to actually get my ass in the chair with the brush in my hand and paint. all those other things may fuel my desire to paint but they will not make me any better. hard work do it. remember that when you are reviewing your goals and resolutions later in 2009 and if you fall short, ask yourself if you put in the work. don't skimp on the work.
i hope that the new year will bring you all much joy. i hope that you can spend time being silent and filling your spirit so you can tackle new challenges. i wish for us all much patience and tolerance with ourselves and with one another (especially for all the moms of little children AND big children). i see my actions daily reflected back to me in the behavior of my children and it isn't always a positive experience. but i am encouraged to know that i have a new day to try harder, to be a bit more gentle or clear or joyful the rest of the day.
i hope this is a year of good health. i wish for all my friends and family a year of pain-free joints, cancer-free bodies, and minds that can remember everything very clearly. it seems we all promise ourselves to eat better and exercise more in the coming year. and we do this every year. i don't want to set myself up for failure with one more thing i SHOULD do so i'm going to keep trying to do my best and know that there will be chocolate involved somewhere along the way. i can't completely kid myself about who i am. but there will also be plenty of broccoli and hiking in the year, too.
i hope in 2009 we all find someone to hold our collective hands and be insightful and true. is there anything better than a friend who understands us and loves us in spite of ourselves? i hope everyone has someone in their life who looks out for them and really wants to know how it is with them, a true friend.
happy new year! happy new day!
now...what do you wish for?
